August 18th, 2016

Oh look, it's Trollsday...

And 1.14 is out now.

August 15th, 2016

Are we there yet...

The changelog is now final.

August 2nd, 2016

Trolling time...

I still had some green paint left on the brush and a troll popped out. Isn't it cute?

August 2nd, 2016

Loot hoarder...

Oh look, it's a treasure gob... I mean a loot hoarder! This green fella must be exhausted by carrying all those enchanted rocks in that bag.

July 30th, 2016

Few more charms...

I think 15 charms is enough for this update. I have a few more of them on my to-do list but real world (work) keeps closing in rapidly and there's only so much time to get things done. Anyway, all charms have their graphics done and their effects thought out. Some of them still need names and descriptions and those will probably take a day or two to figure out.

Once charms are finally sorted out, there might still be time for one or two other things on the to-do list, but I'm not going to name them now just in case that they won't make it in the next version...

July 27th, 2015

Stats screen...

Hmmm, it only took a few years since it was first requested and still it's not perfect. Sure, it shows the various modifiers and whatnot but even those are not complete. It won't be showing casting modifiers and it most certainly won't be showing damages of any kind. The functions that calculate them are 'UGE and in order to print out a simple 'Main Hand Damage: 2-7', as is the case here, it would require a shitload of code and I'm lazy.

Anyway, I'm sure some players can tell exactly what stats the rogue in the image has and what changes there would be if he removed the shield, but I'll list them anyway: (STR 8, AGI 6)

Main Hand Damage Modifier: 1 --> 2
Block Modifier: 1 / 2 --> 0 / 0
Parry Modifier: 0 / 0 --> 0 / 2
Deflect Modifier: 1 --> 0

As I said, I'm lazy, and that means that there won't be any fancy button to toggle that screen and you'll have to press Ctrl (or whatever you bind on the Use button in the options) when the inventory is visible to show it (whenever the next version comes out that is).

July 23rd, 2016

Runes and charms...

Work work. I've listed some of the new changes at the end of the enchants page. Runes won't be available for new players as you will have to complete a rather tedious challenge to unlock them but almost all charms can be found in the first room if you're lucky. Oh well, back to work.

July 23rd, 2016

Happy meal...

With Ali in allahu snackbar. Oh well, just another day in Europe.

July 19th, 2016

Oh look, a train...

A 'level 17' daemon and an axe, what could possibly go wrong. Well, I suppose that if you mentally castrate yourself for something that happened 80 years ago, you might end up on the wrong end of the axe.

On a happier note, I have finally started working on the next version!

July 15th, 2016

Nice day...

I wonder what does it take for the French to bring out the guillotines and start culling their idiot left wing leaders who can't seem to do anything right. A real leader could fix things in a week and scenes like this would not happen. Note that if you don't want to see mangled bodies you probably shouldn't click that link.

That clip depicts maybe 50 meters of street and that goes on for over a mile. That's how you can properly celebrate multiculturalism and the religion of peace.

July 2nd, 2016


A few months ago YLE, or the Finnish Broadcasting Company, came up with this, and now, the Swedish police came up with this. Well, I suspect that most people who haven't fallen on their head as an infant finds both of them absolutely ridiculous.

Unfortunately neither of those methods have any effect in real world, but the good thing is, that they will make a brilliant addition to the game in the form of 'charms', or items that will give benefits when they're in your inventory (waves hand and uses the Force - you did not see charms in any diabolical game, especially the second one).

The two charms inspired by the madness of the left are as follows:

Glove of Liberalism
(Converts all damage types to magic against daemons.)
Projects a terrible force when 'Kameha..', uhm, 'Ei' is spoken out loud.

Wristband of Liberalism
(Daemons must pass a mental check twice in order to attack you.)
It says 'Tafsa inte' in demonic, which roughly means 'Don't touch me' in common.

Set Bonus (2/2): Charmed daemons become your friend permanently.

June 29th, 2016

Smirk of the day...

Well, to be exact, smirk of the day yesterday, but anyway, that is exactly what you should do when you have fought against a windmill for years and finally it comes down to a grinding halt.

If you want to see how he trolled a roomful of shameless self-serving assholes, then click here.

June 24th, 2016

Three hurrahs for UK...

I spent most of the night up watching the show and it certainly was exciting. It felt almost like watching a Eurovision Song Contest that had 382 beautiful and skilled female contestants and unlike the real event, none of them had beards. Certainly there were few places, such as Scotland, which hadn't yet received enough enrichment from the EU, but perhaps they will go and have their own referendum so that they can be properly enriched.

Anyway, congratulations on your independence from this communistic European bloc. Now I just want to see your PM keep his word and invoke Article 50 of the Lisbon Treaty and shove it dry in the ass of Juncker.

January 1st, 2016

Happy new year...

Another year and another news archive. There's also a new section describing some details of traps, triggers and chasms (see Traps).

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